You are likely to have spent such a long time acting in a restrained way in order to avoid criticism, negativity, and emotional or physical abuse, that you have lost sight of who you really are.
In order to trust yourself, you need to get to know yourself again.
They can’t just be some anonymous person on the internet who could be making up/saying most anything about themselves.
I need to see them over a number of situations and need to know them as more than just some profile picture.
According to psychotherapist Cynthia Wall, trust in yourself will only come from a starting point of love and care, writes Margarita Tartakovsky in the article "3 Ways to Develop Self-Trust," for Psych Central.
When you were in an abusive relationship, you were not treated in a caring, loving manner, which may have taught you to feel unlovable.
I met someone online years ago who wanted a friendship first. People reveal who they are all the time…we simply must be willing to listen. If we are to avoid getting hooked up with another loser we have to take control of how we date and stop trying to “catch” a guy. G/f’s are so important and a woman should always make time for her friends.
If the guy can’t handle it or doesn;t like the friends then you best be taking another long look at the guy because if he doesn’t like your friend there is a veyr good chance he is not going to like you down the road.
And it’s one reason most people have no idea why it takes so long to heal.
I want to find a FRIEND, someone I can learn to love and trust first and then fall in love with.
Maybe it will be at work, at some spiritual retreat (because they will have to be spiritual) or who knows where, but I have to know what kind of person they are first.
Before you start a new relationship, make sure that you have begun to cope with the things that you experienced in your past abusive relationship.
Seek counseling to help you work through your emotional pain and connect with your local domestic violence program to get support.